When did being late for things become cool? I wouldn’t mind if this was an occasional thing that happened every so often, but recently I’ve been noticing a worrying pattern that seems to be spreading like wild-fire (to get a thorough understanding of the intensity of a rapidly spreading wild-fire, all you need do is consult Google). In fact, it would seem that within my company, I am the only individual who arrives bang on time.

Take J.T. for example. (Yes, writing his two initials repulses me as much as it does for you to read them.)

J.T. arrives at work fashionably late, usually ten minutes after he should have started. He’s smiling and laughing and apologizing for being late, and I just want to cave his face in. Obviously I stop these murderous thoughts within moments. It’s not healthy to think about that at work so I save all my rage up for the bus ride home later.

J.T. then arrives late at the canteen (probably because he’s had to sneak out to have various laser treatments done to perfect his already vomit-inducing perfect skin) and so there is no food. This means that he has to come over to us and sit there picking at everyone’s food. I wouldn’t mind so much but this one girl, Sophie, always feels sorry for him and gives him her chips. This disgusts me and it should disgust you.

Basically, J.T. is late for everything as far as I can tell. If he was a woman then I would not want to be J.T.s boyfriend–

The moral if this story is this: don’t tell anyone if you have thoughts concerning caving other people’s faces in. Or if you do, keep it anonymous.